I will never be the same...

So I posted a little blip about the twins earlier today, thinking I had done my blog for the week. Well today is a Saturday and Cody had to go to work. He was working in his lab and he was the only one at the building and since I had all 3 kids all by myself and we were all bored and missing him, he told us to pack up a picnic, get the kids' scooters, and let them come down and play in the empty parking lot and eat lunch with him. We all loved that idea so we got all packed up... (Lulu complete with her overnight suitcase full of coloring books, boomerangs, carebears, and her favorite dolly,) and we headed down to South Ogden. Here's where my life changed forever. Since being pregnant this time around, my diabetes that I just love so so much, (sense the sarcasm) has been really wacky. My blood will just drop out of nowhere. It's happened 3 or 4 times now in my 12 weeks of pregnancy where it hits me so fast that I don't even know what's going on. This time, it happened while I was driving with all my kids in the van with me. Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket. (Yes, I drive a van. Don't know what I was thinking when I bought that...) Anyway, there I am driving on the freeway going 75 mph and suddenly things start going black. I didn't even realize I was driving. I had packed a few grape sodas in the picnic so I grabbed one and started to guzzle but had I been in my right mind, I would have pulled over and taken care of things. I remember seeing the Farr West exit and being annoyed with someone who was passing me again and again and making mean faces... now that I look back they were probably considering calling 911 and reporting me as a dui! I don't remember seeing any other exits. I do remember wondering why I couldn't keep my van in the lines of the road, why I could hear so many horns honking, and why we seemed to be going so fast. Also my hand was having convulsions and I couldn't hold the soda steady and kept dropping it. When I pulled into the parking lot at Cody's work, I had NO IDEA how I had gotten there. Everyone got out of the van and ran to hug Cody, having no clue anything was wrong and I stayed in there and just shook. As my blood sugar started to come up from the soda, I started to realize what had just happened. I said a thank you prayer to my Heavenly Father and then bawled my eyes out for about 10 minutes!!! I have never been so scared in my life. It's one thing for just me to be in danger but to put my whole family in danger was more than I can take. Cody almost called a doctor because I couldn't stop crying and tell him what was wrong but when I finally got the words out he just hugged me and let me cry some more. I know there are angels in my life. Most of them have names like Cherry, Mike, Alisha, Channa, Bill, Pa Rich, everyone in my family really, but the angels that helped me today are the ones that aren't seen but are so definitely there. I could've killed all my kids and myself today. I'm scared to drive again! I know I need to get this blood sugar thing figured out and I have an appointment with my endocrinologist on Wednesday so hopefully I will then, but until then, I have learned a big lesson in the value of life. My testimony of Heavenly Father's presence in my life has also been strengthened. I think I was given this scary experience to wake me up and teach me to treasure every moment I am blessed with while here...